What is dating exactly? For me it is interacting with multiple playmates without commitment or expectation. It is easy, fun, and I always learn something.
One of the things I find terribly enjoyable is meeting new people and playing with sexual energies. “What would be fun to do or be with this person? What intense pleasure could me and my body receive from them? What dynamic gift could I be for them? What words, actions, or energy will entice more play and more receiving?”
YES receiving. When I am in a space of flirtation and play I find that I begin to receive more from that person. The barriers lower and the energy sways between us creating an exciting and unpredictable dance.
Have you noticed a difference in receiving at the beginning, middle, and end of a relationship? Have you noticed a difference in gratitude and generosity?
I do love that first kiss, that rush of blood to my lips and the tingling in all the sweet places. In the beginning I like to explore my playmate’s body and universe. As I seduce them into a state of vulnerability and receiving, I freely adore and nurture their very being and every part of their body.
During the “still getting to know you part” I notice this creative energy, this rhythmic question that seems to ripple like waves through the people at play “what else is possible?” There is wonderment and exploration and it is beautiful and delighting.
Then after some unexpected turn this question gets answered: “This is all that is possible”. Then all creation and wonderment die. Perhaps a bit dramatic… and perhaps not.
This is what I have witnessed and experienced so far as relationship with only a few anomalies that seem to go beyond this. These relationship anomalies do not even seem to show up the way a relationship is supposed to. In fact I am not even sure I would even call them relationships, they seem to be something quite different.
Would I be willing to have a relationship anomaly? Woah... I wonder?
The allure of dating is quite great for me and has these elements of excitement and instability and yet, if I was truly being vulnerable and honest with myself is there a desire here for something different than dating? Something inconceivable? Something I gave up on a long time ago…
Is it actually possible to create with someone in a way that exponentializes everything I am asking for and creating? A relationship without need, expectations or significance, what would that even be like?
Have you ever been adored? Like truly adored without any judgment present?
I have looked into my lovers eyes and received such adoration that I have melted into them, losing all separation, swimming in the bliss of it all. With these rare people I have enjoyed increasingly phenomenal sex, conversation, and yes even creation. And as we part ways I sometimes wonder… what else could have been created if I had been willing?
So here I am without an answer, without a conclusion, but with a clearer sense of me and a new nagging question: what am I aware of that is truly possible with all this that I have defined as unreal, unbelievable and inconceivable?
What if dating or relationship is a question best left unanswered for me? Perhaps instead, I will play in the awareness the question gave me and wonder… what anomaly am I now capable of creating?